Your Karmic Line in the Sand: “I’d Do Anything for Love . . . but I Won’t Do THAT!”

February 1, 2014in Newsletter Archive

Your Karmic Line in the Sand: “I’d Do Anything for Love . . . but I Won’t Do THAT!”
To view in your browser:  CLICK HERE I DREAMT I WAS FLYING . . . Joan Pancoe

“If you don’t try to fly and so break yourself apart,
you will be broken open by death, when it’s too late for all you could become.” 

Dear Friend,

        Have you ever given it ALL away for LOVE with no conditions . . . and can you recall how you felt in those moments of complete surrender?  If you’re really honest with yourself, you might find yourself smiling as you remember that you never felt more fully alive and absolutely free than when you allowed your heart to be utterly open and undefended.

        And, since that time?  Some of us might be holding on to regret at how things ultimately turned out.  If we felt hurt, we may have hardened our hearts in self-protection and promised never to be so naïve again, all under the guise of “healthy boundaries” and “emotional maturity.”  We may have placed all kinds of conditions on how much love we’re willing to part with—as if it were a finite commodity—so that we never have to take a chance at feeling that kind of pain again.

        Some of us have been so wounded—in this life and past lives—that we’ve “taken our marbles and gone home” never again risking to play the game of life with open-hearted full aliveness. We’ve chosen to place safety first—and given up on more joy, if it means more pain as well.  We’ve forgotten, not just that scar tissue heals stronger than the original, but that becoming a warrior of the heart means embracing the full range of human emotions—from sorrow and pain to joy and bliss—if we want to experience being truly free within our conditions.    

        This month, how we choose to be in ALL our relationships is coming up for major review as love planet Venus stations direct in pragmatic Capricorn and the Dharmic node transitions into people-oriented Libra.  This will set a new tone and theme for the next eighteen months  . . .  and for some of us, for the rest of this incarnation.


        I’m amazed by how many clients come to me with a “presenting symptom” of what I call emotional and sense pleasure anhedonia.  In other words, they’re literally numb to enjoying life with the full range of their emotions and senses.

        Why?  Rather than risk feeling pain and loss again, they’ve chosen to protect themselves by at least partially disconnecting their hearts from their minds and senses.  Most have been living in a continuous state of chronic low-grade suffering for so long that they’ve forgotten there’s any other way to be.  This pattern is safety-sealed by holding a self-perpetuating limiting belief that: “I don’t deserve joy or am incapable of it, so why bother wishing for more, better or different—especially if it will just bring me more heartache anyway.”

        Now, I’m not saying that we don’t need to use our discriminating heart/mind (Taoists don’t differentiate between the two) before we choose to “give it all away” to a prospective romantic partner—i.e. we can be fearless without being foolish.

        This is especially true if we’re a Neptunian-type or are having a significant Neptune transit, which makes us more prone to those lovely romantic delusions —for more on this:

Neptune:  The Urge to Merge . . . and Then Some

        But, we can certainly choose to reopen our hearts and our capacity to enjoy our senses in our relationship with All of Life and with whatever we feel the most passion and enthusiasm for—from creative projects, to business endeavors, to athletic feats, to being of service, to loved ones in any capacity, to spiritual paths, nature, travel, ad infinitum.

        When we naturally feel passion and aliveness it allows our hearts to spontaneously open wide to receive an infinite supply of love from the Divine Heart of the Universe.  This love fills us first and then overflows to others and Life itself.  And what’s not to like about that?

        Sometimes, I feel like a galactic cheerleader and travel guide, pointing out to clients overly burdened by their troubles how much they could choose to enjoy Being—right here and now—regardless of the nature of what I call “FGOs”, (i.e. f**kin’ growth opportunities), that are, after all, the karmic challenges their souls took incarnation for in the first place.


        As the Dharmic north node of destiny moves into pleasure-loving Libra this month, boundaries need to be re-evaluated and assessed by new criteria in all our relationships:

1.  Do we enjoy playing the game of life and feel ourselves growing and deepening with this person or interest or has it become mind-numbing and stagnant more than half of the time?

2.  Do we feel empowered with this person or interest and capable of maintaining healthy boundaries without getting drained or slimed by toxic or negative energies (no vampires allowed)—personally and professionally?

        And, as the karmic south node moves into the sign of our individual desires in Aries, it’s time to raise the level of our perspective and really “get” that everything we do for others is really being done for Self.  That is, if we choose to hold the view that we are:  One Being with billions of faces—and subscribe to this belief through our actions.  I call this healthy selfishness or self-love 101. 

        Unfortunately, this foundation-level of heart development seems to have been skipped over by many of us in favor of higher-center more “self-less” development.  This is based on a limiting karmic belief that:  “An evolved human being never puts themselves first”—rather than accepting that we are all here—sooner or later—to embrace the full range of being—i.e. all seven chakra levels of functioning and consciousness—in an entirely balanced way.


         I am always very clear that anything I do for others—personally and professionally—is always done for Self.  And, if I have a passion for what I’m doing, then it feels positive, nurturing and meaningful and simultaneously gives me great joy and pleasure.  In other words, I work very hard at my play . . .  and it’s all play!

For more: On Pleasure, Joy and Bliss

        If we stay in situations just for comfort and security, or from fear of loss or “rocking the boat,” we may get away with feeling complacent for now.  However, in hindsight, after we leave this incarnation and review it from the soul perspective, we may experience more than a little regret at not taking more risks and realize that our choice to stay within our karmically predisposed comfort zone has created the need for a karmic do-over. 

        After all, we are here to grow, and safety=stagnation—especially in relationships—including our relationship with ourselves most of all.  So, if you’re addicted to taking your comfort and playing it safe at the expense of your soul growth, please read:

The Nature of Addiction:  It’s Only Human


        In closing, being in an open-hearted undefended relationship with All of Life is the only way to experience true freedom.  And to the degree that we allow ourselves to be open===to this degree are we capable of enjoying Life just as it is in the Eternal Now.

        The ultimate prize, when we embrace the full range of our humanness as a “package deal,” is a visceral knowing that nirvana and samsara are inseparable—all ONE—right here and right now.

        Sending smiling joyful energetic transmissions,

J   O   A   N


“Always put the possibility of joy before the need to be safe.”  Ngakpa Chögyam


PS  If you’re feeling challenged in maintaining healthy boundaries and having a hard time functioning while staying open-hearted in 3D—especially if you’re psychically and emotionally sensitive—please consider giving yourself the gift of a psychic empowerment session with me.  I promise you:  It will allow you to play in the world like never before . . . and there is no better time than NOW.

 For details:  Psychic Empowerment Practices


If you’d like to go more deeply into the themes in this newsletter, please read:

If This Were Your Last Incarnation . . . What Would You Do?

There’s no better time to contact me to discuss how to customize the perfect session for your specific needs:




To help catalyze an opening to a higher perspective, I’ve written a number of articles on themes such as:  body karma, spiritual teachers, astrological themes and much more:  WRITINGS


Feel the need for some help in dealing with “the quickening” of energies now?  It’s time for a daily mind/body/spirit practice that feeds your Soul!  If you’d like to learn what keeps me sane, serene, internally stable and grounded, please check out: 

 Taoist Practices MP3s for $20.12


If you enjoy receiving these newsletters, I’m now posting more frequent planetary updates on my website:  NEWSFLASHES AND on my Facebook page:  WEEKLY PLANETARY UPDATES.  Hope you “Like” and “Share!”


If you’d like to read more about my karmic pleasure rut:


The Amorous Adventures of a Modern Mystic

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For more of Joan’s art:




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